Discussion: Bridget Jones’s Baby

Bridget Jones’s baby is the 3rd installment of the Bridget Jones’ saga…

The first one was thoroughly enjoyable. Second, likable. The third and latest was released in September 2016, and I absolutely hated it.

The movie made me angry. I stopped watching it three times before I finally finished it. When the final credits finished rolling, I almost gave it two stars. Instead, I gave it three so as not to confuse Netflix’s recommendation algorithm.

The next morning, while brushing my teeth, I thought about the movie again. I stopped and asked myself, “Why did you hate that movie so much?”

It’s a romantic comedy, for goodness sake, I thought. If there’s any genre I enjoy more than thrillers, it’s Romcom and Action Romcom. But here we have Bridget Jones in all her goofiness. After celebrating her 43rd birthday with wrinkles to prove it, she goes to a Glastonbury-like music festival where she has unprotected sex with a stranger. We later find out he’s tech billionaire Jack Qwant.

A week later, she meets up, for a second time, with her former boyfriend, Human Rights barrister Mark Darcy, at a baby christening. The first time they saw each other, after a hiatus, was at the funeral of Bridget’s former lover and Mark’s nemesis, Daniel Cleaver, at the christening. Both are serving as godparents, and it seems to reignite their old feelings. Later, they find themselves in bed after Mark reveals he’s getting a divorce. They have sex, but the morning after, Bridget decides she doesn’t want to continue the dance; the two have been dancing for 13 years.

In an unexpected twist, the dance becomes a Do-Si-Do country hoedown for three, as Bridget finds herself pregnant. She doesn’t know whether the father is Jack or Mark.

By the time we reach this point in the film, I’m angry with her and everyone affiliated with this plot. In fact, I targeted my anger on white women. Yep, lovable Bridget Jones became #everywhitewomen, and Helen Reddy was singing the anthem.

No, not the Chaka Khan anthem. #everywhitewomen, you don’t get Chaka Khan and Whitney Houston to sing your song.

Then as I’m seething, I realized my anger arose from jealousy.

I noticed there’s not one black woman in this flick. And the black women’s absence becomes conspicuous and an ugly reminder that an unwed black woman who doesn’t know who fathered her baby is an ugly societal meme.

Black woman’s absence is a reminder that “It’s a white thing,” and a Black woman just wouldn’t understand.

Because as a Black woman, I’m not allowed to be frail, clumsy, forgetful, or even inept. As a Black woman, I must be twice as strong, twice as smart, and I’m expected to shoulder the world’s problems with grace.

But, in the immortal words of Elaine Benes:

Courtesy of: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/elaine-benes/

Alright, alright, look, I don’t have grace.  I don’t want grace… I don’t even say grace, OK?

Then I took a breath.


A Woman’s Place is in the Struggle

When I saw Bridget’s two baby-daddies carry her through the streets because she could no longer walk due to labor, I got mad at my whiter-than-white ex-husband. Hindsight had me thinking he married me because he thought I was a strong black woman.  When he found out I only played one in music videos, it frustrated him. He said,

“You don’t know how to struggle!”

I wondered, why should I? Is “struggle” a dance I should know?   Or did he believe struggle-mode is the standard for every black woman?


Even though Bridget Jones exists in the mind of the writer watching this movie. I wondered how this imperfect specimen of a woman deserved the love of a high-profile publisher, barrister, and tech billionaire. Were these men so emotionally weak they needed a woman who appeared to be dumb enough to lock her belongings in an ATM alcove? Especially since she knew she couldn’t retrieve them because only minutes before, the ATM confiscated her access card!

Why is it that this type of woman attracts the most dashing men, I wondered? Men, some black women call, “Captain-Save-a-H*s!

Then Mark’s montage memories of Bridget rolled. And I finally understood.

These men weren’t weak. They just enjoyed being around and caring for Bridget because she forgave herself for her shortcomings. Bridget knew she was far from perfect, but in her quest to be one of those “perfect women,” she forgave herself.

Short of the funeral, christening, and wedding, there’s not much talk of religion, but Bridget lives as if she’s covered by grace.

And she affords all who come into her world to forgive themselves their transgressions, too.

Grace –

Is so powerful, it is in the top 1% of lookups on Merriam-Webster.

The word denotes divine assistance, approval, favor, privilege; a disposition of or to act in the instance of kindness, forgiveness, clemency; beauty, charm, ease, and suppleness; a short prayer giving thanks; a melodic note, three goddess sisters (plural); a sense of propriety or right, quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful.

My visceral reaction had nothing to do with the movie, but it spoke volumes of my perspective. Like Elaine, I saw grace and ran the other way. Learning to love and be easy with yourself is rarely taught or implied.
Instead, some of us are taught the way to achieve acceptance is through perfection.
The further away from the ideal we get, the sadder we get. Sometimes that sadness turns into anger. For some, it can be depression and guilt.
Yet, there’s a tool available to all of us when we fail miserably at being perfect.


Grace isn’t something bestowed in a sense; it’s only for the select few. When you look at the definition, it’s easy to see grace is something we all can choose, accept, and share.
I’m glad I gave “Bridget Jones’s Baby” 3 stars. I might go back and give it 4. It’s not often a silly little movie that can give birth to a brand-new outlook.

Source: Grace / Merriam-Webster

Thank you for reading!

Paid Reviews Are Dishonest and Other Assumptions.

Not only do I have to take time to read the book– but I also must put pen to paper and write about it.

That’s a paid critic’s job.  Not leisure reading and reviewing.

Therefore, I seek payment.

But not always.

9 times out of 10, I don’t know the author, and the author has no clue what types of books interest me.  Then there’s that 10th author who gets it, but the journey unfolds as follows before she arrives.

“Without a relationship, there’s no expectation of performance.”

1) The first author wrote that she saw my review on Amazon for a similar book and offered to send me a digital copy of her book. I read it, but I’ve yet to write a review. It was a perfect book for how to move from the “friend zone” and into intimacy. There was a problem. The name on the book didn’t match the name of the woman requesting the review.  She never said she used a pseudonym.  It felt a bit tricky even though she assured me she was the author.  Still, I felt no urgency to move on to her request.  Without a relationship, there’s no expectation of performance.

“If you don’t walk your talk, why should I read your words.”

2) By the time I received the second review request – I realized how much time is involved in reviewing books; I probably wouldn’t have read independently. I responded I’d be happy to review his book for $125, my hourly consulting rate. It would take more than an hour to read and review his book, but I liked the subject matter. He wrote back and told me that he thought it would be dishonest to pay for a review, and Amazon frowns on that behavior. I cracked up…because his book’s thesis was about sticking it to authority.

Engagement and relationships are key to selling (Anything)

3) An author wrote and asked for a review…and I responded, “I don’t write for free” …  She wrote back, “Good answer! I love and respect that– and wish you all the very best :).”  The other day, about four months after she first contacted me, I thought about her books, and I bought one.


And that’s how marketing works.  The author contacted me and got my attention by engaging me.  She moved from unknown to known.  I felt moved to help her in her quest to get the word out about her book. I even sent a tweet on her behalf and eventually bought a book.

Shopping and buying are more of social activities.


So, take a page out of the Social Selling manual –and remember

“All Business is Personal”


An Obedient Scribe

At the end of the hand of God, you’ll find an obedient scribe.  It is a play on words, but after watching the second season of  Hand of God currently showing on Amazon Prime Video – it’s clear to me those who are in service to G-d serve others. Those who are opposition are in service to their weakened ego and serve their wants …

Before I go further,

I should say I don’t believe in an anthropomorphize god or devil, but I believe in ancient energies which animate living things – and with free will, we get to choose whose SPIRIT/spirit we will walk in and with…

That’s my takeaway, the message I received from watching Hand of God.  That and also the greatest teacher is a scribe.