No. <- is a complete sentence.

No usually follows a request for something we’ve decided to decline. Because let’s face it, there are so many hours in the day- and we must allocate our time to first say yes to ourselves. We then assign what’ time we have left to other activities we’ve ranked as important. Now, of course, this isn’t new information. Neither is, what we say no to depends on who is asking. 

But how about this? 

Have we learned how to say no to things that render us bit players in our own lives? 

The other day, I heard a BBC commentator say, “they’ve come here to join because they want to be part of something bigger. ” Or was it greater? Sadly, that type of media conditioning is divisive. Yet, many swallow this concept hook, line, and sinker. But worse, it is a lie, like the deceptive lure we use to catch fish for dinner. Here’s the truth. A human-made movement isn’t bigger or greater – it’s a trap.

In the made-for-TV movie “Roots,” Omoro Kinte holds his newborn up to the heavens and proclaims, “Behold, the only thing greater than yourself.” Omoro then names his baby boy, Kunte.

The Universe is greater -and by the very nature of your birth, you are already part of it. So why do we continue to search for the proverbial chair we’re already sitting in? You are the leader in your journey through the Universe. Full Stop

So, act accordingly, be present in every moment of your life because your only possession here is the moments- and once it’s gone, so are you. That’s probably why No is the shortest sentence in the English language. It conveys its message with a quickness. 

By the way, the second shortest sentence is “I AM.” 

Do you sense a pattern? I do.

Chapter Four. Awakening Underway

A quick lesson on Life. Most of us get 4 chapters. So it helps to know how the book of Life unfolds.

A birthday cake surrounded by borders with words “Book of Life
Book of Life

I contend we’re born a clean slate.

If true, I’ll go further to say some of us may receive malicious coding while others receive benevolent programming.

A few of us are even fortunate enough to write our own code. I’ve often wondered how that displays. But I know. Those self-programmers are the same humans who create desire lines and do not walk the same worn-out path as the rest of us.

But for those of us who are followers, all is not lost. — I’m here to testify the herd thins after a certain age — and I don’t mean die out.

Yes. Some of us try to hang on to our 30s and 40s programming.

But the rest of us have scattered for lack of direction.

Although initially scary, I realized that no programming is good fortune in disguise.

But more on that later — for now, here’s Life’s cheat sheet.

Chapter 1. 0–25 years old — Programming.

Chapter 2. 25–50 years old — Execution/Operation/Defragmentation/Optimization.

Chapter 3. 50–75 years old — Virus/Bug Programming Error. Malfunction. Self-preservation overrides programming. Host recognizes their own mortality. Some call this a “midlife crisis,” but it’s actually an “awakening.”

Chapter 4. 75–100 years old — As the mainframe begins to shut down, the host’s true nature reveals itself. The “You” you’ve been hiding from reappears. (Your earliest memory revealed a sneak peek of “You.” Social engineering sent them into hiding.)

As I was approaching the end of Chapter two — I realized I wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t prepared for what was to come in Chapter three. Of course, we might think, “What is there to prepare for?” To which I say; plenty! Many of us are living longer while keeping aches and pains to a minimum. Yet, there isn’t a programming guide for what happens after 50. — Heck, what’s expected after 40 is even a bit of a crapshoot.

Don’t believe me? Check this:

Recently, on Twitter, I read someone’s critique of the album “Renaissance,” and the critic asked,

“Why is a 40-year-old woman singing about being a “Thot?”

And even though the term “THoT” irks my nerves, my second thought was, “How do you question a Goddess?”

Aside: Goddess is my term for women over 40.

Followed by, “wait, there’s an age limit on being “that h* over there?”

Then I noticed this programming “rule” also tells what’s permissible and expected for those aged 21–31. Note: It is off limits for 40+something. 

So, finding our place in society, from 41–51 years and beyond, becomes increasingly difficult because it is defined by all the things we middle-aged folks shouldn’t do.

And Planned Obsolescence is the name for this type of “programming.” If you can program something to perform – surely you can program it to become obsolete. And since the powers-that-be spent so much time programming us for the first two chapters of our lives. Surely, they will program us to believe we have outlived our usefulness during the last two. And sadly, some believe we’re ready to crawl atop a trash heap.

But not so fast! Our consciousness and brain operate like A.I. neural networks. And just like A.I. can write new code, we can reprogram ourselves for new use by simply analyzing and processing all the data we’ve taken over the years. And we all know the technical name for processing data is information. Usable information becomes knowledge, and the use of knowledge is – Wisdom!


So without further ado, here’s what to do at the close of chapter two – allow your knowledge to be actionable. Don’t wait for someone to tell you how to use what you know.

LET GO! Create something new.

“These two words help me start chapter three with a whimper but allow me to thrive as I navigate this new phase. 

Let Go.” 

Because there’s still time to create your version of the “good, good life!”

Bon Bon Vie T.S. Monk

Feel free to share the highlights of your Book of Life in the comments. Thank you for reading.

“The Goddesses Must be Crazy,”

Because we are.

Stephanie Danger – The Goddess Series

I feel seen. And I feel betrayed.

I’ve never identified with the goddesses as I do with this one. But the word “identify” feels inappropriate. The attributes ascribed to the Goddess are who I am to the core. People literally pay me to be their “voice.” I commented on this account that folks could call me “contrary.”
I’m an iconoclast because most beliefs and customs seem arbitrary to me. So much so that if it feels inauthentic – I work to look for its meaning.

I need to “look under the hood.”

So when Stephanie Danger mentioned others could acquire these characteristics and incorporate them into their daily lives – I was finished and almost clicked away.

But then I thought, maybe I’ve been looking at this “deity” thing backward.

Maybe we are the gods and have always been the gods we worship. We’ve selected the best part of our personalities and created gods to explain how things have come to be.

Maybe we aspire to be our highest selves, and then we’ve decided it is a goddess trait. And for the characteristics we hate – our shadow selves, we’ve selected those to cast out and down.

Even if we are mostly the Goddess’s head. (Hat-tip to E A’s comment) And we choose to incorporate “MTV” edits into our work – maybe it’s not to attract a specific audience. Instead, it is to honor part of ourselves we’ve neglected. When someone thinks or says, “that is uncharacteristic of you,” the action they’ve targeted isn’t. But instead, it’s a SELF-offering.

So, thank you. Stephanie Danger, for sharing your glorious Goddess SELF with us. Whenever I think I’ve seen it all – I learn everything in this world has many facets. It would take several lifetimes to experience it all. I’m so thankful for this life and the chance to experience it at least once!

Feature Image:

Jenifer Lewis embodies Saraswati, the Goddess of wisdom and expression. Her new book, “ Walking in My Joy: In These Streets” published by Amistad, comes out today.