The Relationship Playbook Ep. 1

Setting: Courtyard by Marriott Lobby

Picture this: a European presenting middle-aged man steps into the elevator.  He glances at my shoes and throws a question my way:

Him: “Are your toes really that pointy?”

Me:” Yes.”
(I look down at my feet. Then I begin to balance on my right leg while lifting my left so that bottom of my foot faces up)
Me: Sometimes, I put a high heel back here, so it looks like I’m wearing pumps.
(I balanced on my toes for emphasis.)

Him: (Chuckles)
Him: Hmm, (he ponders) “Pretty. And with a sense of humor”

Me:( Blushing)

Elevator door opens

Him: “Have a goodnight” (He walks off.)

Me: “Goodnight”

Door Closes.

Me: (Exhales)

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Next, I’m skipping to my room singing like West Side’s Maria “I feel pretty“.

I, Kid, I, Kid.

But seriously, it’s been a while since someone said, “You’re pretty.”

And the way I play with AI filters to smooth away the years, I get it. But one thing that never gets old is laughter.

So, if I had to be goofy to get a laugh – so be it.

Listen, I didn’t know this man from a “can of paint.” But there I was, sealed in a metal container with him. Without my phone. While he’s talking about my feet.

So, I reach for my arsenal of humor. It’s my go-to strategy for disarming with charm and it works like magic!

The laugh gave us a quick serotonin hit, to boot. 

Serotonin: What Is It, Function & Levels (clevelandclinic.org)

If this were a decade or two ago, mean muggin’ would have been my go-to look, like I was America’s Next Top Model.

Stop and think about all those runway supermodels in the 80s and 90s. Pick up a Vogue magazine today. See any teeth? Wide smiles? Nope? I didn’t think you would. 

Those waif models were deadly serious and looked aloof and unavailable. As a result, we were conditioned to believe seriousness made us more desirable.

In contrast, society encourages women to date men who make them laugh. However, we’ve never heard of “Marry a woman who makes you laugh so hard you can’t breathe!”

Why Laughter Is The Best Medicine For Your Whole Health

Well, I started out as that would-be woman.
I entered my adolescent years with comedy skit as my performing talent in an international teen pageant.  

I’m grateful to the elevator man and my pointy shoes for helping me rediscover the power of humor.

In fact, many of us women who have said farewell to our “pretty years” are leaning into our wittiness. We’re showing resilience in the face of societal norms.

And how could we not? Life comes at hilariously blinding speeds.

Humor is priceless. Maybe even more valuable than Maybelline-enhanced good looks.

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About The Relationship Playbook:
The Relationship Playbook was a weekly live talk show on blog talk radio created and produced by me and an associate I met on Myspace. We hosted some of the most high-profile guests in the relationship industry; sometimes tempers flared, and folks tapped dance on our nerves at other times. Ultimately, The Relationship Playbook Live was one of the top-performing shows on the social broadcast network. We also had a high-performing Facebook fan page. My associate launched a website, edging me out. He took over the show and replaced me as co-host. I flew away and spent 8 years flying the friendly skies. The “Real Talk, Real People, and Real Relationships” broadcast ended in 2013. Today, the lessons continue.